Sex and porn: when it feels out of control
Most people never think twice about their sex life or what they watch. For some, though, sex or porn becomes something they turn to again and again to cope, even when it’s hurting their relationships, their work or how they feel about themselves. It’s more common than people think, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of asking for help with.
Please read this first
If you’re worried that your thoughts or behaviour could put a child at risk, or you’ve been viewing images of under 18s, get confidential help now from Stop It Now on 0808 1000 900. You don’t have to give your name.
If you’re feeling hopeless or thinking about ending your life, call Samaritans free on 116 123, any time, or 999 if you’re in danger.
Signs it’s become a problem
- You spend far more time on it than you mean to
- You’ve tried to cut down and couldn’t
- It’s causing problems with your partner, your work or your sleep
- You need more extreme content, or more risk, to get the same effect
- You use it to escape stress, loneliness or low mood, then feel ashamed afterwards
Where to get help in the UK
- Your GP. A confidential place to start. They can talk through what’s going on and what support is available locally.
- NHS Talking Therapies. In England you can refer yourself for free help with anxiety and low mood.
- Specialist information. ATSAC is a not-for-profit with information on compulsive sexual behaviour and finding a specialist.
- Peer support. Sex Addicts Anonymous runs free meetings.
- Relationship and sex therapy. Relate and COSRT can help you find a qualified therapist, on your own or as a couple.
Where hypnotherapy fits
Hypnotherapy is not a treatment for compulsive sexual behaviour, and I don’t offer it as one. If it’s taken over your life, a specialist therapist or your GP should be part of your support.
Where I can help is alongside that. The urge is often tied to stress, loneliness or shame, and sessions can help with those feelings and with the moments where the habit usually takes hold.
Before we work together I’ll ask what support you have. If I think you need specialist help first, I’ll tell you honestly.
Common questions
Is it confidential?
Yes. What you tell me stays between us. As with any therapist, the only exception is if I believed you or someone else were at serious risk of harm.
Is porn addiction a real thing?
Professionals still debate the label. What matters is whether it feels out of your control and is hurting your life. If it is, it’s worth getting help.
My partner’s behaviour is the problem. What can I do?
Relate supports people whose relationships are affected, and you can go on your own. You don’t have to wait for your partner to be ready.
Talk it through
If you’re already getting support and want help alongside it, book a £49 consultation call and we’ll talk about whether sessions would help.